Toltec agreements

Toltec agreements are contracts, conscious or unconscious, that we have towards ourselves, towards others or even towards an entity. These contracts allow us to harmonize our values with our actions to allow us to bring us joy, without constraining us to certain rules. It is important to try to strive for it as much as possible, without creating a straitjacket that would limit us in the transformation of our lives.

There are 4 main Toltec agreements, and one that was added later. You can therefore follow these 5 agreements in order to understand which path to follow to find inner peace.

1st agreement: May your word be impeccable

Words have particularly great power. Used wisely, they can achieve wonders and increase personal esteem. Conversely, words can also hurt you or others in particular.

This is why the first Toltec agreement requires that we only speak with integrity. Take the time to think, to weigh your words. Don't let the emotion of a situation cause you to say offensive things. But instead favor love and kindness in what you say.

Being honest does not mean hypocrite, or even impulsive. But it's being able to say what you think, by choosing appropriately the words you want to use to convey an idea, or an opinion.

For example, if you have the impression that one of your colleagues is not efficient today, do not tell him "you are not doing anything at all", but rather ask him if everything is okay, because he seems elsewhere to you. The relationship will be more serene.

For yourself, the logic is similar. Take care to choose your words carefully about yourself.

2nd agreement: Whatever happens, don't make it personal

We are unique, and see the world in our own way, according to our education, our beliefs, our history, our fears etc. We interpret each element of the world in our own way. The same story, the same event will not be perceived in the same way between you and someone else. Each eye welcomes life uniquely. You don't know what the other person understands, interprets or feels. It's the same on his side! He doesn't know how you view his world. No thought is truer than another.

Also remember that you are not other people, and that you are not responsible for their behavior or actions. Don't think that they are acting according to you or against you. They act according to their education or their value.

If someone insults you in the street, they don't know you, so it's not against you. But in his education and the means of communication he learned in his social environment was perhaps full of insults. It therefore expresses itself in the way in which it has been conditioned.

So don't put yourself, or no longer, at the center of situations. See them as facts or events that are external to you. So leave your intuitions aside and focus on the objective aspect of events.

3rd agreement: Never make assumptions

We often tend to want to interpret the actions or words of others. In general, we make assumptions, rather negative ones, about the people around us or their intentions. Just like we don't know other people's stories, we don't know their ideas about a situation. We end up believing what we think so strongly that we consider our hypotheses as certainties. We therefore end up acting towards others according to what we think of their actions. Our answer and our idea may therefore be biased.

So dare to ask questions, so dare to express yourself when it comes to your needs. Speak about yourself clearly, share what you think and feel.

4th agreement: Always do your best

The best is not necessarily the best of ourselves. Give 100%, never less, but never more either. Whether in your actions, in your projects but also in your relationships. The best of us fluctuates, depending on our mood, our energy, our thoughts and our desires.

Act with awareness, enjoy what you do, and do it with your heart. Set your limits on what you accept, and how far you feel capable of doing things. Accept not to be perfect, or to be able to fail on certain points.

Give yourself “SMART” goals. These objectives are:

• Specific: Have a clearly defined objective. You clearly know what you are going to do in your projects
• Measurable: You can objectively quantify your objectives, whether in time or in actions.
• Achievable: Your goals must be within your reach, and you must have the means to move forward.
• Realistic: Learn to know if your goals are achievable and relevant to your current situation
• Temporally defined: Give yourself a time objective. You can plan several small consecutive objectives to give yourself a course of action, or a defined objective within a defined time frame as well.

5th agreement: Be skeptical, but learn to listen

Learn to doubt what may be said to you. This can have real power. Indeed, our thoughts or our words are governed by our emotions of the moment. Being questionable does not mean that we are afraid, but that we can demonstrate critical thinking, listening and kindness in relation to the opinion of others or in relation to our own opinion. We no longer let our idea be colored solely by our emotion of the moment.

We tend to hear the other with the sole aim of responding and going against their arguments. We must therefore learn to listen to others in order to understand them, and accept their point of view.

For adults, for children. For everyone who wants to help themselves find their way to inner peace.

Every day, take care of yourself by thinking about these agreements. You can write them down on paper, or in your phone and remember them when you need them.