Imposter syndrome

Imposter syndrome can also be called self-made person syndrome. People with this syndrome tend to have constant doubts, bordering on the unhealthy, about their successes in the professional or personal world. Indeed, you think that your success is linked only to external elements, such as luck, those around you and/or good coincidences.

This is why you constantly feel like you are defrauding or deceiving the people around you. You see yourself as a person who spends his time fooling others. So you think that your colleagues or those around you will unmask you and that you will lose your credibility.

This excessive personal devaluation of your abilities can be temporary or chronic. But it is not irremediable.

Impostor syndrome comes from a feeling of insecurity that is unjustified.

Indeed, when you feel like you don't deserve your place. It seems to you that the intellectual level of others is always more important. In order to make up for any shortcomings or possible intellectual delay, you become more involved in your work and put in a lot of effort. You have the approval of your superiors or your teachers, so you feel like you have been fooled.

Then, as you downplay your own skills, you go along with the ideas of others. You are understanding, but do not feel like you are truly yourself, but rather of being who you are expected to be.

You use, unconsciously or not, your charm to gain certain favors, or in any case, to be appreciated by your superior. This unconscious strategy aims to reassure you about your own abilities in order to stop feeling like you are deceiving others. On the other hand, instead, you tighten the mask you wear since this gives you, once again, the impression of having lied to your superiors and that this approval is due to your talents as a liar or to luck.

Imposter syndrome is not only linked to professional life. It can also occur in our private sphere, particularly in education and in family life.

Indeed, a parent can underestimate their abilities to manage their family environment, their children, etc. Your partner may think too highly of you when it comes to this management, making you feel like you're fooling your family as well.

There is no single, clear-cut explanation for imposter syndrome.

On the other hand, we often see the appearance of this syndrome when we compare ourselves to personalities whom we consider competent or even talented, particularly during university or professional transitions. We also find many children with parents who have brilliant careers.

Older children in a family tend to be more prone to this syndrome. Indeed, they have the impression that their success is due to all the support they received from their parents.

Without being the eldest of siblings, it is possible that there was parental pressure linked to education. Excessive expectations of professional or social success from your parents may be the cause of this syndrome. Indeed, you may feel like you always had to do better because you fail to meet expectations.

Conversely, low expectations in your childhood or a lack of attention give you the impression that you have no place in your society or your university group.

Finally, certain populations that can be considered minorities are more likely to have imposter syndrome, such as women, LGBT+ people, people from outside the country, certain religious minorities, etc. Indeed, minorities experience strong social pressure and seek to prove their skills, yet often feel a lack of self-confidence. Stereotypes and still limited thoughts about certain differences can lead to low self-esteem, or at least create doubt about our skills.

Even if there is not a typical profile of people suffering from imposter syndrome, we nevertheless find certain common characteristics.

Firstly, there is lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem. Indeed, you do not believe in your skills, in your value and in your abilities and link them to external luck which has been favorable to you. It does not seem possible to you that you could be capable of this, through your intellect or your physical skills.

There is, therefore, in these personalities, a perfectionist, or at least a great fear of failure (or the fear of unjustified and undeserved success). This is therefore linked to a large overinvestment. It's true that you feel like your work is never good enough, even if you've completed tasks or accomplished a difficult challenge. This can end up causing significant psychological or physical fatigue.

You may also be subject to a great need for recognition, whether from those around you, your hierarchy or your teachers. Yet you try to avoid being the center of attention in order to avoid the risk of failure.

Finally, you may have a tendency to have ruminating thoughts, to wonder how it is possible to have had access to such a position, or to such a school. You therefore tend to devalue yourself and denigrate your skills.

This syndrome is not uncommon. Although it does not always affect a lifetime, it is estimated that 70% of people experience this sensation at least once during their academic or professional career.

This syndrome generally appears when we enter a new world linked to certain of our skills, for example during our first job, during a promotion, a new university course, etc.

This syndrome affects both women and men. Research tends to focus more on women, but it just seems that the repercussions and consequences are different between the two sexes. Women often end up trying to find help, while men, who in the professional world must leave a solid image, tend to turn to addictive behaviors.

By working hard to meet requirements, by trying to achieve perfection so as not to show that you are an imposter, you are more likely to burn out.

As a result, the search for perfectionism increases the feeling of incompetence, since the efforts given are higher than those that your colleagues can offer. You therefore underestimate yourself, and spend a lot of time on each task, which sometimes forces you to procrastinate a lot.

A depression, an anxiety disorder or even a strong pessimism regarding one's skills and one's life are noted. Indeed, constant dissatisfaction and putting in a lot of effort can lead to exhaustion and negative thoughts.

It is always better to go see a professional (psychologist, therapist, sophrologist etc.) to help you with this discomfort. A professional will help and guide you in a process of assertiveness, self-confidence and with whom you can work on your self-esteem. Work on guilt as well as detachment from the view of others could also be put forward. However, you can always try these few little tips to free yourself from this syndrome to help you and move forward on your own. As this is not a pathology, you can have all the tools to get through it on your own:

Accept yourself as you are

Regularly, work on letting go: Breathe, listen to relaxing music, letting all the good vibes enter you and becoming aware of your body and your abilities. Be grateful for who you are.

Accept compliments

Be grateful for what others can say to you, and learn not to see positive comments as lies. Accept them, by thanking the person, or by smiling. To do this, think about what you have put in place to have had these satisfactory results, and see that it comes from you.

Be the center of attention

Although it may seem difficult, offer to give presentations of your work, established steps, and expected and/or established results. In this way, you will be able to highlight what you have been able to do, but also become aware of what you have managed to do thanks to your skills.

Create motivating slogans

We can convince our brains of certain things. You just need to repeat sentences several times, with conviction, for it to end up working, and let the naivety of our brain operate. Have short, impactful sentences in mind, such as “I am capable”, “I have the skills”, “I am the best in this field”, “I am proud of myself”, which you repeat to yourself regularly. If you are visual, do not hesitate to write them down so that you can read and reread them often and whenever you want.

Estimate others at their true value

Your colleagues or classmates may be more talented than you on certain points, but don't overestimate them. We all have our qualities and our faults, our skills and our weaknesses, and we learn to develop with them. Accept that you can learn from them, but also accept that you can teach them certain things.

Create a “success board”

Listing the different situations in which you have had success allows you to realize what you have been able to do. Make a table with 3 columns. In the first, give a factual description of the situation (for example: I won a call for projects). In the second, your automatic thoughts about this success: what do you attribute this success to (for example: luck). In the last one, think about the real factors of your success, with the skills that you were able to highlight, your knowledge on the subject, the number of hours spent, the investment you showed, etc.

Prove to yourself who you are

You are not an impostor, and yet you are convinced of it. Take a sheet of paper, make a diagram with a photo of yourself, or your first name in the middle and write all around it, all your qualities (whether professional or personal) that could lead you to success (for example: kindness, math lessons, quick learner, etc.).

De-dramatize

As you may have read, nearly 70% of people experience this syndrome at one time or another. It is therefore time to dare to talk about it, and you will see that there is a good chance that other people around you feel the same sensation. In this way, you will feel understood by your colleagues or those around you, and they will try to adapt as best they can so that you can regain confidence in your skills.

In addition, during a conversation, you will be able to share your tips with other people who suffer from it, like you.